Issue #1: The Nigeria we sigh for

Ah, Nigeria, a kaleidoscope of cultures, a mosaic of many, a land of… well, let’s just say it’s a bit of a mixed bag. It’s like a tapestry woven by a well-meaning but slightly distracted artist. You know, the kind who starts off with a grand design in mind but gets sidetracked by the odd loose thread here and there.

Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s not all doom and gloom. But let’s face it, we’ve got a bit of a cloud problem. And by cloud, I mean poverty. It’s like a perpetual eclipse, casting long shadows over our dreams and aspirations. But hey, who needs material wealth when you can have a wealth of… lack of opportunity?

So, how do we brighten up this rather sombre picture? Well, we could start by giving our paintbrush a good shake and splashing some vibrant colours around. Imagine a Nigeria where every child has a shot at a decent education, where entrepreneurs are not just tolerated but celebrated, and where work is not just a means to an end but a source of pride.

But let’s not stop there. Let’s paint a Nigeria where success is not just for the privileged few but for everyone who’s willing to roll up their sleeves and put in the hard yards. A Nigeria where diversity is not just accepted but embraced, where creativity is not just encouraged but nurtured.

Of course, to make this masterpiece a reality, we need to invest in our future artists – our children. Education is the palette from which they’ll draw their colours, the canvas on which they’ll paint their dreams. And it’s up to us to ensure that this palette is rich and diverse, that this canvas is broad and welcoming.

Now, I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention the elephant in the room – corruption. It’s like a termite, gnawing away at the foundations of our society. But imagine a Nigeria where corruption is as welcome as a poop at the dining table, where our leaders are as transparent as a pane of glass.

To bring this vision to life, we need to ensure that our leaders are not just accountable but held to account. We need a police that’s free to shine a light on the dark corners of corruption. And we need a government that’s as open as a book, where information is not just available but accessible.

So there you have it, the Nigeria we yearn for. It might not be perfect, but hey, what tapestry is?

Ah, the judiciary, the supposed beacon of justice in our society. Let’s paint a Nigeria where it’s as free from political interference and corruption as a unicorn is from reality. And while we’re at it, let’s ensure our judges, prosecutors, and law enforcement officers are as well-resourced and trained as a team of superheroes because, you know, doing their jobs effectively is apparently a novel concept.

Then there’s the not-so-small matter of insecurity. Terrorism, ethnic conflicts, communal violence – it’s like a smorgasbord of chaos and destruction. But fear not, for we shall paint a Nigeria where security is as common as air. A Nigeria where our security forces are as well-equipped, well-trained, and well-motivated as a squad of action movie heroes.

But how do we achieve this utopia, you ask? Well, we start by addressing the root causes of … Wait, you know it all. So, just paint!

But painting a new Nigeria isn’t just about addressing our challenges. It’s also about celebrating our quirks, our idiosyncrasies, the things that make us… well, us. So let’s paint a Nigeria where our cultural heritage is as celebrated as a national holiday, and our ideologies as appreciated as a viral meme.

And let’s not forget our natural beauty. From the rolling hills of the east to the beaches of the south, from the savannahs of the north to the rainforests of the west – it’s like a postcard from Mother Nature herself.

And then there’s our people. Resilient, creative, entrepreneurial – we’re like a pot of delicious edikaikong soup, filled with different ingredients coming together. So let’s paint a Nigeria where these qualities are as celebrated as a 2022 World Cup victory by Messi supremacists, and where our people are given the opportunity to succeed and lead fulfilling lives.

But to paint this new Nigeria, we must first dream. Dream of a Nigeria in all its glory. But dreaming isn’t enough. We must also take action. Because turning dreams into reality is apparently what it takes to paint the Nigeria we sigh for.